MJ, Telenovelas, and The Tale of the Hives...

Today I spent I don't know how many hours watching MTV (but only got to see my favorite video, Thriller, once). I can't believe Michael Jackson is dead. Jonas seems to really like his music, and I found him 'dancing' to some of it.

I did have to take a break from MTV at 2 so I could watch my new favorite tv show- "Valeria" on Univision. Then my next favorite show comes on after that- "Juro que te amo." The best thing about soaps is that you don't need to speak the language to understand what's going on. At night I've been watching "Manana es para siempre." I keep seeing adds for "Betty la fea" (the real Ugly Betty), but it comes on a channel we don't get. Boo. It looks like it's way funnier than the English version.

Yesterday on "Valeria," a chicken ate an engagement ring, which I think should have been physically impossible for the chicken to do. Today Mr. Pink-Argyle-Tie actually proposed to his girlfriend, Miss Crazy-Head-to-Toe-Red-Outfit and then showed her the chicken. Then Fake-Boobs-in-a-Green-Halter-Top came in later and took the chicken home with her. From the chicken sounds she made at it, I think she just wanted it for a pet. I don't think she knows that it has a giant honking diamond inside. Meanwhile, the girl who I think is Valeria is on her honeymoon in New York with Husband. I don't think she wanted to marry him because she wouldn't kiss him at the end of the wedding ceremony yesterday. Today he made her drink champagne and talk on the cell phone to Hunk-on-the-Beach back in Miami. I think Hunk-on-the-Beach is her ex-boyfriend. He was really upset. Valeria didn't want to say anything to him, but Husband had some weird, Vulcan-like, death grip on her shoulder. Then he hit her, and he started crying. She begged him to not feel bad, I think. Then I must have missed something because the next time I saw her, she couldn't find him. Then he walked back into the hotel room shirtless (thank you) and apparently totally drunk. But he may just be pretending to be that drunk to con her into doing something. Sure would help if I understood Spanish.....

Sooooo.....I am really, truly allergic to stress. Not just normal stress, but long-term, so-stressed-I-don't-know-I'm-stressed stress. About five weeks ago, I noticed an itchy bump on my hip. I thought it was just a bug bite. Fast forward to now: I am covered head-to-toe in hives! I am one big itchy mess. I did some soul searching and figured out that breastfeeding, or my version of it, was my biggest source of stress. First I'd always been stressing because Jonas wouldn't latch on correctly, and I blamed myself for it. Then I was always stressing about making sure I got in enough pumpings, that I was pumping at least 30 ounces a day, that I was always home in time to pump, and how many months should I keep pumping anyway......and the whole time I was still feeling guilty for not breastfeeding the traditional way. I was also stressed out because I have the most awesome electric breast pump, the Medela Freestyle, but I've only used it a few times. I just felt more comfy with the manual pump. So I felt guilt over not using the fancy pump (which cost a fancy penny.).

Well, enough! I've quit, or am in the process of quitting, and I refuse to feel guilty. Let me repeat that: I refuse to feel guilty. Especially because Jonas seems to be doing better on formula. He's less gassy. He doesn't need to eat as much or as often. I wish I'd switched him earlier! I'm still having to pump, to wean the girls from milk production. I throw the milk out because of the antihistamines I'm taking aren't good for babies. And to counter balance the drowsy side-effects of the pills, I've been staying hopped up on caffeine, which also isn't good for babies. (I've been able to renew my love affair with Arizon diet green tea with honey. Luckily it forgave me for dropping it like a hot potato when I found I was pregnant because- according to my pregnancy book- the anitoxidants in green tea seriously affect the development on babies' spianl cords and brains. Not good for babies. But oh so good for my taste buds! Yum. Yum.)