Ginger and Mary Ann

Kimberly and I have been helping each other sort through our accumulations in an attempt to streamline our lives. She helped me part with an outfit I used to wear on dates with Jason back when I was 19 (like these mom boobs will ever fit in a size M gray wool vest ever again without major surgery!), and I helped her part with some God-awful plaid pants.

Kimberly left me to sort through her jeans while she took a bathroom break. I made three piles: keep, toss, and what-the-heck-were-you-thinking-I-must-mock-you-for-this pile. The majority went into the keep pile. Maybe two pairs went into the toss pile. And then I came upon one particular pair that I couldn't believe she had in her wardrobe- skinny, dark, denim capris. Sure they look great on a stick-thin 6' model or on a 13-year-old. But on a petite, late-20's career gal? Not so much.

As soon as she returned, I pounced. "Uh, Kimberlyyyyy. Why do you have skinny, dark, denim crappies? Don't you watch "What Not To Wear"? They say crappies make you look short, and you're already short. So what gives?"

Kimberly made an "are-you-blind?" face, held the pants up to her body, and said, "Lora, don't be silly. These aren't capris; they're full-length jeans. Why did you think they're capris?"

So I held them up to me, and they were at least 6 inches shorter on me, or a pair of capris.

I don't know about Kimberly, but I almost peed my pants laughing! Then I remembered the episode of "Gilligan's Island" when Mary Ann had amnesia and thought she was Ginger. Ginger had to squeeze into all of Mary Ann's tiny clothes while Mary Ann wore all of Ginger's. Good thing Kimberly and I will never have to trade closets!